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Lesson Purpose: Your body is a precious gift that should be properly nourished, cleansed, and kept free from harmful substances. By preserving the sanctity of your body, you keep it as a holy temple for your spirit. The Lesson “And the LORD God formed man [of] the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.” Bible, Genesis 2:7 “If any man defile the temple of God, him shall God destroy; for the temple of God is holy, which temple ye are.” Bible, 1Cor 3:17 “If anything is sacred the human body is sacred.” Walt Whitman, I Sing the Body Electric. “For the body at best Is a bundle of aches, Longing for rest; It cries when it wakes.” Edna St. Vincent Millay, Moriturus Robert Lewis Stevenson is an example of a person living with his body. I realize that not everyone has a healthy body and that they have to compromise to meet their life's objectives. Robert Lewis Stevenson died in the last decade of the nineteenth century at age forty-four. One of the greatest writers of all time, he said that there was never a day in his life that he was not ill and that he felt strong enough to get out of bed. But he said that if he didn't get up, nothing would be accomplished that day. So he got up and wrote the wonderful literature for young and old that will be enjoyed as long as man can pull a chair up to a lamp and read. We don't have to go back that far, do we? We have a young mother in our town who is horribly crippled and raising her children on her own. She is a beautiful creature with long black hair that drops down to her waste. I sometimes see her down by the town lake. Crutches in both hands and braces on her legs, she struggles to walk around the lake. I go up to her and ask her is she is okay. Can I take her back to her car? She gives me her beautiful smile and says, “I'm going to try and make it.” Her picture was in the paper the other day. Habitat for Humanity is building her a house. She is so happy and what did she say? “I'm going to work on that house too.” And she will. Why? Because she has too, to achieve what she wants to get out life. (Note: I worked on her home and three others while living in Arizona. She lives in it today with her two children, a boy and a girl.) Most of us have reasonably healthy bodies. We should be grateful to God for that. If people with terrible ailments press on in their lives despite the suffering, we should strive to use our bodies to help others. And that's what we do, isn't it? We go to work. We go shopping for groceries. We pack the kids in the car and take them off to school and sports activities. We are on the run all the time! And that is why we have to stop and think and ask ourselves, “Am I taking care of the body that God gave me? Do I give my body enough rest? Do I give my body enough exercise? Do I feed my body the right foods? Am I putting dangerous chemicals and drugs into my body? When did I last have the doctor give me a checkup?” We are what we eat, they say. And that's what we like to do most, isn't it? EAT! There are two problems here related to Quality and Quantity. You can eat all the carrots, lettuce, watermelon, and other such vegetables and fruits that you want without ill effects. Why? There are few calories, but lots of vitamins and minerals that you need. You can't eat all the meat, ice cream, cake, hamburgers, hot dogs, cheese, and such, without getting too much fat and too many calories. Moderation is the key, isn't it? Sure it is! If you eat lots of fruits and vegetables and much less meat, ice cream, cake, hamburgers, French fries, fried onion rings, etc., you will have more energy and vigor. Many folks are overweight which leads to heart decease, diabetes and other ailments. To lose weight, I have to write down my daily intake of food item by item on a sheet of paper so that I don't over do it. By doing that, I automatically say: “Hey! I’m eating too darn much.” When I first started doing this, I would count the calories and stopped when I reached my limit. I found this not necessary. Just jotting down the items slows me down. We need exercise too. They say that we old folks need at least three thirty-minute exercise periods every week and that hefting a few weights can keep our muscles strong. I walk around the track at our high school pumping five pound weights. Younger people get plenty of exercise, at least most of them, but they still need to watch what they eat. Tired about me talking about Korea? Well, this isn't one of my war stories. It's a fact that the doctors working in aid stations and field hospitals in Korea, many who had served in WW II, found that the arteries of the Korean GI’s were heavily laden with plaque. Much more than what the doctors saw in WW II. The reason was that those that went into W.W.II lived during the “kettle of beans” era of America called the Great Depression. The diet was not HIGH FAT. We ate a lot of vegetables. Our mother's canned fruits and tomatoes. I remember carrying jars of fruit and vegetables down our basement steps until my arms dropped off. Then came the hamburger era. When the war brought money into the land of the poor, we went on a richer diet. We loved ice cream and hamburgers and hot dogs and French fries. When I was in high school and, even later after the Korean War, at the university, a good lunch was hamburgers with fries. I paid for it. Years in industry, after I left teaching engineering at Iowa State University, required lots of travel and lots of meals away from home. I traveled to England, Germany, France, Italy, Belgium, Holland, Norway, Denmark, Sweden, Mexico, Japan, Korea, and on one trip, I flew around the world, crossing the Great Soviet Union after flying over Finland, and then dropping down into Japan. We ate and ate and ate! Wherever we went, we ate like hogs. After I retired and was editor of an industrial magazine, I flew to Mexico, Ecuador and Columbia. In Columbia, I was escorted by guards with machine guns. But I didn't eat fatty foods. The reason was that I had bypass surgery and no longer was allowed to eat artery-blocking goodies. My first surgery was in 1992. In the spring of 2005, one of the grafts was replaced and I was supplied with the aortic valve of a hog (which seems appropriate). So, what should we eat? The “Nutrition Action Healthletter,” published by the nonprofit Center for Science in the Public Interest, 1875 Connecticut Avenue, N.W., Washington, D.C. 20009 says that the following are good things to eat: oranges, whole-grain bread, cantaloupe, broccoli, sweet potatoes, watermelon, beans, salmon or other fatty fish, all-bran or 100% bran cereals, spinach, and kale. Salmon and other fatty fishes reduce the chance of a sudden-death heart attack. All-bran and 100% bran reduce the risk of cancer and heart disease. When you shop for groceries, read the labels. Quaker 100% Natural Oats & Honey Granola sure sounds healthy to me. Not so says the Center. Too much sugar and fat. Look for a low-fat variety from Mister Quaker if you want granola. Many plastic-bag items like chips are loaded with fat and salt. Breakfast sandwiches are packed with fat. Pizza is loaded with fat. Buy a low-fat brand or eat in moderation. Donuts and such are loaded with sugar and fat. Look for fat-free varieties. Noodles and such by themselves are not high in fat, but when you fry them they are. Canned soups can be loaded with salt. Read the labels. Breakfast eating out: Well, Denny's Slim Slam is much better for you than the Grand Slam. What about meat? My wife lives without it, and she doesn't feed me much. Some meat, or equivalent, is essential to good health, but purchase lean cuts and eat in moderation. Use it as a garnish more than the main part of the meal. I make spaghetti using chicken as the meat instead of meat balls. You can eat turkey burgers rather than hamburgers. What about pork? When I was a boy, I use to work at a hog farm owned by our church. Stink! Wow! The pigs were as big as cars. When I drove through Iowa in 1956, the pigs were still huge. When I went back to teach at Iowa State University in 1966, the pigs had shrunk. They got smaller still by the time I left in 1974. All this was accomplished through breeding and diet. The pigs were slimming down. Lean pork can have a lot less fat than some beef cuts. Read the labels at the supermarket. Everyday eat: cereal, fruit, vegetables, little or no meat, and fish once or twice a week. My wife doesn't cook fish and the trout I catch don't have much omega-3 fatty acid. I take the pills. Take a multipurpose vitamin and consider taking extra vitamin C, especially during the cold season. Physical Examinations Middle-aged men should have an annual physical. Men are subject to prostate problems. The problem is enlargement with the distinct possibility of cancer. (My friend died a few weeks ago after an eight-year fight with prostate cancer. A sad lose.) Women are subject to breast and ovarian cancer and need checkups before middle age. Any person having a family history of heart disease, diabetes, cancer, or other ailment, should notify their doctor of this fact. Remember to Exercise Walking is good. When you are young, you can be as vigorous in exercise as you want. (There may be exceptions.) When you are old, walking is the best exercise, or perhaps swimming. My wife swims three times a week. On her 70th birthday, she swam 70 laps at the Olympic pool. Golf is good if you walk the course pushing your bag by hand cart or carrying it. Driving around the course in a motorized cart is not quite as healthy, but you can still get a lot of exercise if you are a bad golfer and spend lots of time in the rough. England is good for golf. They usually don't have motorized carts and the rough is really rough. I do love playing golf in England with the brassy weather and the foxes scampering out of the brush and the kids running out on the course stealing your balls, and all such fun. Keep your body clean and lean if possible. If not, keep it fat and clean. But obesity is a major health risk for heart attack and cancer. Make sure you get enough sleep and resttoo, and make sure you take time out for recreation to alleviate the stresses of out times. For The Little Children Mr. Brown set on the front porch watching the cars go by. Freddy said, “I've never see Mr. Brown out of that chair.” Peter replied, “That's because Mr. Brown never gets out of that chair. He brings it out in the morning and sits there until after dark.” “Yes,” Freddy said, “He's in that chair even in the winter and late at night. The only difference is that he goes inside the house when it’s too cold outside.” Peter nodded his head. “Yes, all he needs is that chair and that radio blasting away.” One day, two of Mr. Brown's older sons came to the front of the house with an ax. Freddy said, “What are they up to now? I've never seen the Brown boys work. They just horse around all day.” Peter said, “I think they are going to cut down that tree.” Freddy replied, “What makes you think they can use an ax. They'll probably cut off a foot.” The Brown boys started swinging the ax at the tree. They chipped the tree here and there but they couldn't seem to get the hang of it. “I can't believe it!” said Peter. “You can't believe what?” asked Freddy. “Mr. Brown is getting out of that rocking chair!” “I’ll be!” said Peter. “Give me that ax!” said Mr. Brown. "You boys don't know how to swing an ax." He took the ax and started swinging like Paul Bunyan. He knew how to use an ax and the chips were flying. Freddy said, “Look how red his face is getting.” “More like blue,” said Peter. Then poor Mr. Brown fell to the ground. The Brown boys called their mother and she came running out of the house. She send one of the boys to use the Neighbor’s telephone to call an ambulance. But it was too late. Poor Mr. Brown was dead by the time the ambulance arrived. He had a massive heart attack. Mrs. Brown was crying. Peter and Freddy felt sad. They told the Brown boys they were sorry. Later, Freddy told his father what happened. His father said, “It's too bad. He wasn't in good enough health to cut down a tree. You have to keep fit to do that kind of work. You have to know your own limitations.” Freddy said, “I’ll try to remember that, Father. When I'm old, I will walk a lot like Grandfather does. I’ll try to keep healthy and strong.” His father smiled at him and said, “You are thinking good, Son.” Yes, this is a true story. The names were changed. Copyright©2001-2005 by Taylor Jones, John T. Jones, Ph.D. penis enlagement system homemade penis enlarement buy penis enlagement pills vigrx penis enlarement operation natural penile enlargement pills vimax home penis enlargement medical penile enlargement

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A lot of men are ready to go to great lengths to get a bigger penis. Through the years, these men have tried any possible penis enlargement method, regardless of how ridiculous or dangerous that method was. Although there is no shortage of safe male enhancement techniques, some men seem hell-bent on putting into practice the strangest ideas and the most obscure penis enlargement techniques. One of the lesser known penis enlargement techniques is the injection of liquid silicone into the penis and the scrotum. This is a pretty drastic approach to penis enlargement and not frequently performed. The main advantage of this technique is a significant increase in girth. Silicone injections are not the best way of increasing the length of the penis shaft, but they do wonders for girth. The results are usually impressive. The biggest gains obtained through this method amounted to more than 900 percent increase in penis volume. However, it’s worth noting that a 900 percent increase in penis and scrotum volume renders the penis unusable for anything except urination. Moreover, the effects of silicone injections are, for better or for worse, irreversible. The injection of silicone into the penis has a high chance of disrupting tissue, blood vessels and nerves, causing loss of sensation and the inability to achieve penetration. If you think that losing the ability to have sex is too high a cost for a bigger penis, you are right. A silicone injection enlargement gone wrong turns the penis in a fashion accessory that cannot be used for sex anymore. Other side effects include a high chance of inflammation and discoloration of the surrounding tissue. The silicone also tends to cause the formation of granulomas, which are nodules of inflamed, granulated tissue. Silicone is also known to migrate as drops of this substance spread throughout the body from the initial pocket of injected silicone. For this reason, the FDA has refused to approve the injection of liquid silicone into the body. This penis enlargement method usually makes the penis look abnormal and also leaves scars behind. Silicone can be removed from the body, but the procedure is very difficult, especially if migration has already occurred. Silicone injection is a far too risky approach, especially when there are many other safer and easier ones on the market. Using pills, patches or traction devices is more comfortable and less risky than bringing a hazardous substance inside your body. When too many things can go wrong, it’s time to choose another path. penis enlargement exercise penis enlargment pic before and after surgical pnis enlargement pennis enlargement drug enlargment free penis pills sample pennis enlargement drug herbal penis enlagement pills penis enlargment result vimax penis enlargement surgery cost

I understand that Saturday afternoon is the equivalent of Chernobyl for television and cable stations. Just after the last Saturday morning cartoon finishes and before the game there is absolutely nothing on. So I can understand how something like "Bibleman" oozed its way onto the air. What I didn’t know was that "Bibleman" has been around for at least ten years. And to be honest with you, I could of slept better at night if I had remained oblivious to this fact. I don’t care if there are shows out there preaching to people. I don’t have anything against religion. You have the right to say what you’re going to say, and I have the right to turn that channel faster than “Stella” flopped. Just don’t tell Comedy Central about that last part. They still cling to the idea that Michael Ian Black is funny. We will also ignore the fact that the people behind "Bibleman” and their fans would possibly have the FCC and conservative Republicans crush our secular programming than flip the channel themselves. In the case of "Bibleman" though, I don’t think these people should be let off the hook. I wouldn’t mind the show if it had some balls. You know, make Bibleman a raging alcoholic with a dingy office next to a strip club, and have episodes with him going into hell every so often to slap Hitler and Stalin around with his penis. Instead you’ve got some old guy running around in a suit that looked like it was inspired by an acid induced viewing of “Robocop.” Instead of saying things like “I’m going to rip your heart out and eat it for Jesus”, you get lines like “Bibleman is victim of a plot to make him disobey god!” And while that line may make George Bush Jr. clap his hands in delight, it makes the rest of us wretch. Even the villains, the sign of a great superhero show, are as bad as the poorly written, self-important hate mail I sometimes get. Instead of Satan, complete with thirty heads and a Boston Red Sox cap, we have this guy who looks like a gay version of the Borg from Star Trek. How do we know he’s gay? Because of his mannerisms, his constant attempts to give fashion advice to Bibleman, and a quick cut to Bibleman in bondage having something awkward done to him during an episode with this character. Not to mention on the Bibleman website all of his villains are described as “flamboyant.” What kind of message are we being sent from this show? That muscular men in purple suits can beat up gay people in homoerotic encounters because the Bible says he can? The theme song is on par with a high pitch squeal on repeat for eternity. And we know how enjoyable that is. Not only does the theme song suck, but also "Bibleman" again pumps the "Star Trek" well by ripping off the transporters. He even goes the extra mile and rips off George Lucas’s light saber for his weapon. The creators of the show were smart enough to not use the Star Wars sound effect. But they might as well use it at this rate. Do you really think George Lucas is going to pick a fight with Jesus Christ in the media? Not only is Bibleman a homophobe, he’s also an out and out racist. His partner Cipher is black, and every time Cipher says something Bibleman blows him off or just repeats what Cipher just said as his own idea. This doesn’t add to the “comedy” of the show. It is another example of a white man ripping off a black man’s good ideas. And to make matters worse, Bibleman went out and found a Latino girl to be Bible girl. Who, you guessed it, acts like a stereotypical Latino woman. Don’t you love how loving and accepting the producers of this show are? The rampant product placement in this show is outrageous. Almost every scene somehow manages to include a shot of Bibleman’s own bible, which you can probably purchase if you look hard enough. Where does the money go for this bible? Not to a charity for blind orphans! Not to animal shelters for Dalmatians after the Disney craze ended! I wish the producers of this show would create a fund for people who accidentally watched episodes of "Bibleman" and had a stroke. This whole show smacks of low profile and low cost management. Do you know who Bibleman is? No! Of course not. Because you have s former cocaine addict, Willie Aames as Bibleman. Some of you might know Mr. Aames as “Buddy” from “Charles in Charge.” And what did Aames do after his fifteen minutes were up beating up gay people, doing blow, and preaching about Jesus in this show? He went on VH1’s Celebrity Fit Club. The producers could have gone for a star, or at least someone who seriously believed the stuff they were spewing on the show. Instead they gave us “Buddy.” I wonder what Charles thinks about all this? The bottom line here is that a show that promotes racism, intolerance, includes product placement for something that is supposed to be free (the Bible), and sucks harder than a late night meal at Dennys. It is a total disservice to the religion, and I even argue the show makes Jerry Falwell appealing. Nothing this bad should be allowed on television. penis enlagement surgery free natural penis enlagement free penile enlargment video penile enlargment program herbal penis enlarement pills penis enlargment doctor penis enlagement information pnis enlargement pump vimax penis enlargement surgery cost

Sex is an integral part of life. Without it the very existence of mankind would not have been possible. As we reach our adolescence period some particular glands starts driving our sexual behaviour. And as we reach a certain age these glands stop producing enough hormones to have an effect on our sexual behaviour. This commonly results in Erectile Dysfunction better known as ED. Erectile Dysfunction renders a male useless and helpless while he is to have sex. Though there is an urge for having sex the penis does not come up to its expectations while its performance. The major reason for this is that, as we age our body too starts aging. Aging is a natural phenomenon but we do not wish that our sexual performance too takes a beating for aging. As we age our body functions slowly and so there is less supply of blood in penis. But circulation of blood is necessary to have a penile erection for making love. Penis has porous tissues which absorbs blood when circulated. And when it absorbs blood it enlarges and stops the blood from getting out. Thus an erection of penis is maintained during the sexual act. Once the penis ejaculates the penis loosen up and starts circulating the blood. But in case of a person with erectile dysfunction this process does not happen. And as this process does not happen he remains unsatisfied in his sexual acts. So, ED treatment drugs like Viagra, Levitra, Cialis and Edagra etc. come to your aid at that juncture. These drugs can provide an age old person the much needed penile erection. With it your sexual fantasies could be realised. The dosage for these drugs depends on your health status and food habit. A consultation with a doctor is a must in the event you are to take this drug. If a person has hypertension, diabetes, heart ailments, allergy he should tell the doctor about these diseases. These drugs are not to be used by women and children. Whether it is for satisfying your sexual hunger or simply to satisfy your partner’s sexual need these drugs can stop your penis lying redundant. As successful sexual activity is a major component in any relationship these drugs could be of great help to you to have a bond that would be everlasting. So, go and enjoy the pleasure of love making again. Carry the youthfulness, vigour and agility in your sexual activity as in your youth with these drugs. These drugs also have some side effects like – increase in blood pressure, heartbeat, obesity so it would be wise to consult a doctor before going for the drug. In case any side effects show up it would be wise to stop the treatment right away and consult a doctor. To have an erection one must have the sexual urge to have sex. Erectile dysfunction drugs only help in maintaining the erection during sexual act. After ejaculation the penile erection should go away. In case erection continues after ejaculation or if the erection does not wither after 4 hours of taking it one should consult a doctor. He is the best person to provide remedy in that case. vigrx penis enlarement system truth about pennis enlargement does pennis enlargement work home penis enargement penis elargement operation best penis enargement pills penile enlargement tool vimax penis enlargement surgery cost

22 March, l968 As it turned out, Johnny would visit Jill’s room off and on during the following weeks. And that strange woman that left the Belmont’s room brought along another woman, and on occasion, he’d catch her on her way down the steps and invite her into his room, although she’d had preferred ‘Jill,’ so she said. Tasma was not aware of most of this, but a little. Also, she had received at this time several letters from home by her parents, in particular her father, but she did not respond back. She was not certain what to say, she loved them, and Jill assured them she was fine, but it was too stressful for her to talk or write them. She did have a profound desire to please her father, and wishful thinking to please her mother, but it seemed she needed to learn how to please herself first, and to Jill, she did not blame them for anything, not anymore anyway. And had she started a communicational dialogue, they may have persuaded her to return, the one thing she did not want at this time. —Jill was in the kitchen—the ironing board was pulled out from an inner-cabinet built into the wall, a wall-unite if you will, it was kept snugly in, in which there was a door attached to it; Jill was ironing Tommy and Johnny’s cloths, another lover circle had stared. Both were arranged in separate piles. Mrs. Belmont was sitting at the table talking seriously to her; it was most unusual thought Tasma, for seldom did she see Mrs. Belmont other than at the bar talking to Jill. As Tasma neared them to join them, the subject—whatever it was—changed, and what appeared on Mrs. Belmont’s face was an un-cheerful smile, not unusual, but quite sudden, and it was apparent. Consequently, feeling a little awkward she left the kitchen to work on her diary-novel (some poems), in the living room in her usual spot; in effect, she could overhear bits and pieces now of their conversation. It didn’t occur to her to get up and leave, rather the opposite; she actually pretended to be busy writing and was simply drawing a picture undiscernibly. “It’s been going on for a while mom, I didn’t think it was, I mean it would end up like this.” “Get rid of him, or all of them.” “No, no, I don’t think Johnny will go so easy. He likes me, and thinks he can have me, and he has me of course.” “What about Tommy?” “I like him, I like him a lot, but that’s the problem, I don’t love him, I just like him.” “He’s what you need though. He’s more anchored.” [With scorn] “What the hell does anchored mean!” said Jill. “Ok, ok, I could have used a better term, Tommy likes to work and go to school, he’ll be somebody someday.” “Tommy doesn’t pay you a dime; Johnny does and Johnny works hard.” “Yes, he works hard all right, hard at drinking, screwing you and god knows who else—smoking that weed.” “So Tommy was screwing me and working.” “You’re going to lose him to that cousin of yours if you don’t hang on to him.” “Tasma,” she looked at Tasma reading, “you got to be kidding, she’s as naïve as a sparrow.” “So you say: does a pineapple come from a pine tree?” “No,” said Jill apprehensive, “now what does that mean?” “She’s not the little girl she was three, four months ago, or is it five or more? She has a good shape, and pretty face, and if Tommy can’t see it, I can. And so can a lot of men at the bar. Anyhow, Tasma is not the issue, Johnny and Tommy are.” (A long pause came, then with a cracking voice, and an almost whisper, she leaned over to her mother, and Tasma leaned over the arm of her chair): “I think I’m pregnant…” “Ay caramba,” she said in a sigh that slurred all the way to Tasma’s ears, “…now what?” “It’s Johnny’s, not Tommy’s, Tommy uses a rubber, and Johnny thinks it is not manly to do so.” It was momentarily hard for Jill to look her mother in the face; she was at this time, pacing the floor in a small circle as her mother followed her with her eyes. “Listen Jill, Johnny’s drinking with all the gang members at the bar, and he’s gambling, it’s just a matter of time before he gets in trouble with them.” (Some of the gang members had motorcycles, others cars, it was somewhat an unofficial bunch of criminals, in that they were but twenty of them that hung out at a number of bars). 23 Shan’t be a Minute Tasma found herself walking upstairs to her room, it was quieter in the kitchen, and figured, she had heard enough, a voice said, “Where are you going?” it was Jill, polite but to the point. “Shan’t be a moment,” was her answer. She wanted to tuck away her diary-novel, she had written some exposing things in it. And so she tucked away, under her pillow, as if it was safe, and her place was off limits to others, which in presumption it seemed to be. For the most part, she did not want to leave it laying about for someone to pick up accidentally. Life had seemed uncomplicated she thought, and now with Jill’s mother it seemed somewhat speculative, if not downright disjointed. It had now crossed her mind Tommy would find out the secret, the secret being Johnny’s behavior and her being pregnant, or so she said she was, and ‘I know about it,’ she felt as if she was a betrayer, be it to Jill or Tommy, or even Johnny. Down the stairway, into the living room she went. She looked outside through the bay-window and there was Mrs. Alice Whitehead getting into the car, she looked at Tasma, Tasma waved at her, she was a nice old lady, and it always seemed to her she had concern on her face for her. As she turned around looking towards the kitchen she noticed Mrs. Belmont sorting out bills: ‘I suppose she’s done talking to Jill now,’ was her thinking. “I talked to your mother a few days ago Tasma, she’s doing well and I told her likewise, you were doing well.” Tasma simply made a polite gesture, no verbal adjectives. “I want to do something today, a surprise, come with me,” asked Tasma, for some odd reason something had popped into her head. “What, may I ask, is on that devious mind of yours?” laughed Jill. —Tasma and Jill were gone for several hours, and arrived back home at about 6:00 PM. Johnny and Tommy were sitting in the living room watching TV. As they both walked into the house, both the boys were somewhat taken back a bit at Tasma’s appearance—if not down right, star-struck. Her long reddish hair was cut to where it reached only the nape of her neck. And she was wearing more makeup than she had before, the result: she looked a little fresher and less school-girlish, than before. Thought Tommy, ‘…before she seemed more delicate and fragile..,’ as he glanced at the poise she displayed as she smiled and stood in the middle of the room awaiting the verdict of the two young throbbing hearts, the heart breakers themselves. Johnny noticed her slender bones, and her nicely shaped neck was more defined (front and back). Tommy for some reason noticed her neatly-set breasts, small as they were—just above her small waist they were a hand full no more. Yet her slyness somewhat removed, still left her with a harmless effect. Her nervousness was repressed for the most part. Along with all that, with all the money she had saved up, she also purchased some bath salts, talcum powder and a small mirror, which she duplicated for Jill as a gift for allowing her to stay. She had spent her $100-dollars she had saved. For some odd reason, Tasma had glanced back into the kitchen, expecting to see Mrs. Belmont, but of course was not surprised when she was not there, she usually would go to the bar around this time, either she had missed her, or she was in her room preparing to go. The boys looked at one another in jest, and laughed. Said Johnny with his normal side joking way, “So now you’ve grown up, welcome to the real world kid, looks like you’re willing to join us.” Tasma knew Johnny’s ways and knew that was better left alone. “It makes you feel good,” commented Jill; meaning spending money on oneself for preservation purposes, or simply for a change in one’s life. But there was concern in Jill’s unseen eyes, in her cerebellum. She was no psychologist, like Skinner or Pavlov with his salivating dogs (who worked on association), but the boys were kind of salivating, restlessly slobbering might be a better way of putting it, if not downright uneasy, with this new Tasma look. Everyone had gone to bed now, it was Jill’s turn to sit downstairs in the sofa-chair for once, wondering, thinking, not sure of her next move. ‘I just don’t get it,’ she asked herself, ‘why am I so attracted to Johnny, and going with Tommy? Tasma wouldn’t have the answer even if I asked her, nor mom, facts are facts, feelings are feelings, I don’t sense they are neither right or wrong, they just are. Johnny makes love as if he was a mad man and seems almost barbaric, and I think of him when I make love to Tommy—it’s just unthinkable. I wonder how Tommy’s new book will turn out. Can you love two people at once, at one time? A good question; I think I do, or maybe it is lust, how do I know, I’m just…(pause) will be nineteen in a month. Mom said: love is a choice. I say love is a feeling. I wonder what Tasma would say. I know Tommy feels love through his penis, like Johnny, all men do, kind of, sort of—most of the time; but Tommy is more willing to be dedicated, I think. I have learned men are attracted by looking, but I like touch.’ On her way to her bedroom, she stopped at Tasma’s room, knocked lightly, “Can I come in just for a moment?” she asked. “Why sure you can,” answered Tasma with a thoughtful voice. “I had a great day with you today, and thanks again for the things you bought me (this was a good lead-in she thought to bait her for a question to be soon asked), but I have a question, somehow I think you’re going to oversimplify the answer but I’ll ask it anyhow. How do you know if you’re in love with a person?” Surprisingly, Tasma answered Jill with foreknowledge, “You mean you are having a hard time trying to figure who you want, Tommy or Johnny?” (A tight look went over Jill’s face.) “Yes, yes, that is where I’m coming from; I didn’t know it was so obvious.” “It’s becoming obvious Jill, it was the first day Johnny came through the door, and it has progressively taken a greater shape to it. But in regards to your answer, I’ve never been in love so I might be the wrong person to ask, but I do know this, as simple as it may be: if I wanted to go out with Johnny, I couldn’t be in love with Tommy—that much. I mean, I’d think whoever you were in love with—you’d not want to go out with anyone else; you’d kind of want to stop shopping around for another person, or so I believe. If I was to get married, I’d not want to go out with anyone else: and if I did, I’d know that I was not ready for marriage, to him or anyone, if that makes any sense.” But to Jill it made all the sense in the world. She was sleeping with Tommy at night, and wanted to be with Johnny. “What do you think I should do?” asked Jill. “I think you already know; I don’t think I need to say anymore. My heart is with you, no matter what the outcome is.” Then Tasma hugged her tightly. 24 Reset As the next two weeks passed a kind of silence took over the house, people talked less to one another, I suppose you could say, Jill was the life of the house, and now she was deep in thought. Everyone tried to keep busy and pretend things were normal, but they of course knew they were not. The Belmont’s kept their normal schedule, and the pretense lingered. Tasma had finished up with Tommy’s book on San Francisco, and had explained to him how she liked the ending of ‘Bustling,’ by his fake name Colleen Grant; she commented to Tommy: “The younger woman fell in love with the older man, but she had psychological issues, and she was too fragile for him to care for her emotional illness, and he was too sick biologically for her to care for him. It was a sad ending I thought, but had they married: love would not have been enough, as they wished, they’d both had ruined the life of the other. Yet they remained friends as they parted, matter of fact they remained friends until he died at the age of eighty-years old, and her, at eighty-two.” She then read a poem she was working on for him: “I haven’t put it in my book or diary yet, but here it is I’ll read it to you from the paper (Tommy sat inquisitively on the edge of her bed): The Maiden from Seattle When she walked into the light The door to life, grew black as Night, And her earth began to swell (This youthful beauty of Seattle); At first glance— Fell this youth from high Aching to touch the morning sky. Who dare take this maiden’s hand? To help her though this silent land! Ah! From hair, to heart, to breast: Like faded flowers in the ground Fleshless alms, could not be found, And so she remains—bound! Said Tommy in surprise, “I like it, I think a little or maybe a lot of you is in the poem; I think you’re going to be a Mrs. Plath, or Dickinson some day.” —The following day Tommy had come into Tasma’s room unexpectantly, “Are you still writing your story?” he asked. She looked at Tommy, “Just some poems, and dairy notes, really haven’t gotten into the plot or theme of anything in particular yet; not sure how to get it going.” “Let me see, maybe I can help you” he said. Yet Tasma was still bewildered of his rudeness to just kind of enter at will; she liked him and didn’t want to scare him away, on the other hand, she was not going to join any love-circle. She leaped quickly to her pillow, then it dawned on her, she had much information in it about Johnny, Jill, Tommy and, none other but the: The Lady in Black, as she referred to her in the diary. But had she not jumped, she thought afterwards, had she not jumped she’d had not given away her hiding place, although it was no vault for sure—I mean, a mouse could have found it had it looked for it. “I, I have too many personal things in it, private things, I’d rather you not see,” said Tasma as she currently held the book in the middle of her chest; as she got off the bed with her one knee, fully turning about now, she tripped on her shoe and the book fell, Tommy quickly grabbed it and opened it. Tasma saw him reading it, and needed to do something quick, she grabbed it out of his hands and jumped on the bed, her dress flying above her waist showing her underwear and all. Somehow Tommy found the child in him, and jumped on her bed trying to grab the diary from her as they rolled around in the bed; now Tommy hovering over her, his legs between hers. “What are you two up to?” questioned a voice in the background, it was Jill: she had heard the ruckus. “My fault, I was trying to get her diary from her, I started to read something quite interesting,” he looked at Jill halfheartedly. Had he gone back any farther, thought Tasma: The Lady in Black was there. Jill looked at Tasma in an indefatigably way, “I see I wasn’t invited to the party—”and slipped off to her bedroom where she just looked out the window aimlessly. In a way it didn’t bother her about what she’d seen, but on the other hand, she was jealous. When Tommy left the bedroom to join Jill he didn’t know whose child it was; he had only read up to ‘I overheard her say to her mother she was pregnant today by….” He could not ask Tasma to betray Jill, it would be too much to ask, if anything, Jill might be betraying him, it was indicative of her. —In the following days, Tasma noticed Tommy and Jill fought quite a lot; and Tommy was not a person to be irritated easily, it must be that she was leading Tommy to believe it could be his child, Tasma thought. Then one evening she noticed Tommy sleeping on the coach, and Johnny still remaining in his bedroom. During this interval, Johnny entertained himself in his bedroom, hoping Tommy and Jill would sort things out—thus he remained in kind of a queue, waiting for Jill’s signal to return, somehow he had come to that conclusion she would. He found himself pacing the floor at night, saying, ‘I wish, whatsitsname, would…’ and never ended the sentence. —I must make this awkward at this point, his mind broke off the subject of Jill and Tommy after the first week, his insides became external. He looked at himself, pretending he was not feeling this serge; he had not guessed at this until it engulfed him, there was stern on his face—and, toil in his hand. A cold shower might work he thought, but it was too far away. He felt he was on a fast run; he hardened his body like a weightlifter, a boxer ready to take a punch. This lasted two weeks, finally an agreement came about, Jill would sleep with Johnny, and Tommy would sleep in Johnny’s room, and in due time Tommy would have to leave, approximately in a few months, considering once she started to show it would only provoke issues within the household, or so she felt. The real problem was that Johnny did not have the heart to tell Jill he liked the way things were, and he really liked Lorie to a higher degree. He wanted his sex, but could find it elsewhere if need be, now he’d have to resort to living in her bedroom, and his alone time would be altered. In addition, Lorie was somewhat out of the picture for he had not seen her in weeks as he waited for this all to settle, but he’d see her again is what he was planning. Again, everything seemed in the air now. But to resist the plan would be too premature at the moment he deliberated out. In spite of the tension, things appeared to move about on a regular base for a few more weeks. However, Johnny was starting to hang out with the gang more often now, with their motorcycles, and customized old cars. He was doing a lot more drinking and gambling with the gang members. They had even stopped on a few occasions at Jill’s house looking for Johnny, taking pains to find him, going out of their way it would seem. It came to her attention; Johnny owed them money, how much it wasn’t said (but it was close to $6,000-dollars). They’d not go to his work; it was one thing the groups forbid: that being, to endanger a man’s livelihood was not being a man at all. They could do almost anything else, even kill you, but not jeopardize your job: that was considered a low blow. Out of nervousness, Tasma started to keep her distance from the group at the bar, if she could, she would have vanished into thin air.