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Women's capacity for orgasm is awesome. They can come over and over again, and still be ready for more! This capacity seems almost limitless. They can experience clitoral orgasms, g-spot orgasms, vaginal orgasms, ejaculatory orgasms, blended orgasms, and not only one but multiples of any of these! They've even been blessed with a body part, the clitoris, whose only purpose is sexual pleasure. This may all seem a bit unfair to men who typically reach a precipice, fall over the edge, roll over and go to sleep!
Why is it then that so many women are frustrated rather than satisfied? Why is it that for so many loving couples, the female orgasm remains an elusive dream; one in which she's perhaps become resigned to sex that's pleasurable but not truly satisfying, or even worse, faking it to salvage her partner's ego. If it is really bad perhaps she fakes orgasm just to get the sexual ordeal over with! Or he sadly wonders: What's wrong with me? Why can't I make her come despite stiff fingers and aching tongue? His sexual self-esteem is wounded, and he secretly feels less of a man believing he has failed her.
The first step on the path to freeing a woman's orgasm is for both men and women to understand that men do not give women orgasms. Women allow themselves to have orgasms. Despite popular belief, no matter how good a lover you may be, unless your partner can give herself up to the pleasures of her body, she won't have orgasms. This realization alone can open the door to women becoming orgasmic. It takes the pressure to "perform" off of men, and it frees women to take responsibility for their own sexual fulfillment.
This is very important. If your woman is blaming you, and you may also be blaming yourself for her not having orgasms, it is quite possible, even likely, that you are both looking in the wrong place to solve the problem. Mind you, an unskilled, selfish, or insensitive male lover can be a real problem, and at the very least is certainly a dull bore. And to say that a woman is responsible for her own sexual fulfillment does not mean you revert to a slam-bam-thank-you-ma'am approach to sex and let her fend for herself. After all, the more skilled and attentive a lover is the more pleasure he himself receives, and although you can't give her an orgasm you certainly can help her to have one, or even lots of them. So even though it's not entirely up to you, there is something you can do to help.
The biggest barrier to orgasm for women is mental distraction - thoughts that float into her mind, catching her in her head, and taking her away from what's going on in her body. As soon as she starts thinking, she is out of the moment and will lose touch with her senses and her pleasure. Some of these thoughts may trigger feelings of shame or guilt about experiencing sexual pleasure, for no matter how liberated our attitudes toward sex seem to have become, there yet exists the perception that "good" girls don't! Even today women are divided into categories of "virgin" or "whore". Those who engage lustily in the delights of the body are somehow morally questionable. You can help your delectable partner move beyond these pleasure stifling attitudes by letting her know how much you respect, admire and cherish her fully female sensual self. Tell her often, especially when you're making love, that it thoroughly turns you on to see her let loose the passionate side of her nature.
This is not always easy for men to do. They may have internalized an unconscious conditioning that leads them to accept the rather misogynist belief that women can't be good and pure, and also be fantastic lovers. If they believe this, they are placing themselves in a very unfortunate situation. This belief system inevitably leads to the man selecting one woman for a partner, spouse and mother, and a different partner for an affair or mistress. Adultery is about the only option left to a man who holds such a belief system. The resulting deceit and lying force a separation between the couple and the relationship ends soon enough, for example in breaking up or divorce. In this scenario, the man is at fault and the solution does lie with him. Only a change in his beliefs will solve this problem.
Sexual abuse is a horror and curse that is unbelievably common in our society. Women that have been sexually abused often have great difficulty in allowing themselves to trust their lover, let go into the sensual moment, and surrender to sexual ecstasy. If your lady is having difficulty experiencing orgasm; if you are a reasonably skilled lover; and if you have communicated to her that you honestly wish her to fully awaken as a sexual partner, then the problem could be some psychological damage from sexual abuse. Ask her about this with the greatest tenderness and caring that you are capable of. Be aware that many women actually blame themselves for their own sexual abuse, so this can be the touchiest of all possible subjects for discussion. If sexual abuse is an issue, it is advisable to encourage her to seek professional counseling or some other form of help.
Besides worrying about whether they are "bad" if they really enjoy and want sex "a lot", many women worry about enjoying sex the right way. They worry about how they look, smell and taste. They worry that the cellulite in their upper thighs or the slight bulge of tummy fat may quiver unattractively. They worry about being "clean down there". They worry about how long it takes to reach climax, how much time their man has to spend stroking, licking, and caressing to help them fly over the mountain. All of these thoughts take them out of lovemaking. To help her stay in the pleasures of her body tell her with words and sounds and looks that you adore her, you love to devour her with your tongue, you could keep on touching her forever, it's a delight to you to give her pleasure. And mean it, because if you haven't learned how to enjoy pleasuring your partner, pretty soon you won't have one!
Once she's able to relax into the joys of lovemaking and focus on the exquisite sensations her body can feel rather than listening to the demon distractors her mind can conjure up, a woman's path to orgasm is much clearer. With particular loving skills of your own you can assist her to break that path wide open.
Most men enjoy having their genitals touched at any time, whether they're sexually aroused or not. This isn't usually the case with women. Think of the vagina as a "potential" opening, a magical door that will happily open wide to receive you, but only after you've called ahead to ensure your welcome. Be certain she's eager for your genital explorations by focusing loving attention on other parts of her body first - lots of kissing, neck nuzzling, tender strokes on back, shoulders and arms, then adoring caresses of her breasts. Only after you sense she's ready, through signs like rapid breathing, flushed skin, hardened nipples or enticing moans should you move to her vagina. Once your hand or mouth is at her sweet honey pot begin to explore it from the outside inward - outer lips, clitoris, inner lips, vaginal canal.
Generally women reach orgasm most easily through clitoral stimulation. The clitoris is extremely sensitive to touch of all kinds. Often the head of the clitoris, the pointed tip, is too sensitive for much direct pressure, so focus your attention on the sides. Touch around the clitoris instead of right on it, at least until her level of excitement increases. The skin tissue of your fingers is not nearly as sensitive as the tissue around her clitoris. But the tissue of your mouth and tongue is an almost perfect match in sensitivity. Unless you are more highly skilled in using your fingers, it is a much safer way to start by using your mouth for oral stimulation of the clitoris. Experiment with different pressures, strokes and speeds. Ask her which ones she likes best. A good way to do this is to try two different touches, then ask her if she likes "a" or "b" better.
If she's willing, invite her to masturbate for you so you can learn exactly how she likes to be touched. Many women are shy to do this at first but with some gentle encouragement she may really show her wanton self. It can be a great turn-on for both of you. Many men are actually quite frightened by a woman who is fully sexually awakened. They may doubt their own ability as a man to keep up, or to be able to perform adequately. They may fear that if she is too much woman sexually for him, that she may go elsewhere and find what she wants. It may help you to overcome this fear if you remember that you are not responsible for giving your lady sexual satisfaction. She must do that for herself. But if this fear is very strong, you may seek counseling help to deal with it.
When you do find a particular stroke or caress that is really driving her wild, keep doing it and keep doing it and keep doing it. Don't change anything about it. Don't go faster, slower, softer, harder, or switch direction. Keep doing exactly the same thing until she lets you know she wants a change either through words or body movement. This holds true whether you're pleasuring her clitorally or vaginally with your fingers or your mouth. Keep going even if your hands or mouth get really tired!
It's a good idea to wait until she is very aroused before entering her vagina either with your fingers or your penis. Generally if she's not wet, she's not ready. It's as simple as that. If your lover doesn't have a lot of natural vaginal juices even when she is fully aroused be sure to use a good silicone or water-based lubricant. Nothing can be a quicker turn-off than rough, dry skin rubbing on soft vaginal tissues. Water-based or silicone lubricant is better because oil can clog the sensitive vaginal tissue.
The most sensitive part of a woman's vaginal canal is the first inch to two inches. It's here that most of the nerve endings are located, so when you first enter her concentrate most of your attention there. The elusive g-spot can usually be found in this general area, on the top of the vaginal wall, a couple of inches in. Imagine a glass lying on the floor. If you reach your first two fingers into the glass at the top, i.e., toward the ceiling rather than the bottom towards the floor, you should find it. It is difficult to reach the g-spot through intercourse, so you will find it much easier with you fingers than with your penis. There are also some interesting dildos and vibrators with just the right shape to reach the G-spot. Move your index finger or your first two fingers in a "come hither" motion (as if you were asking someone from across the room to come over to where you are) and gently stroke her. When you touch her g-spot you may notice a more bumpy or raised area of skin, but you may not. The best way to know you've found this highly intense love spot is by her reaction. Where you look is not quite as important as when you look. Unless she is excited through and through, perhaps from a clitoral orgasm beforehand, it can be difficult to find the g-spot.
Stimulation of the g-spot can produce extraordinarily intense orgasms. As a woman is approaching a g-spot orgasm she may feel she has to urinate. This may immediately cause her to tighten up, stop, and pull back from the edge of bliss. If she can stay relaxed and keep going through that "have-to-pee" sensation it will pass and move on into deep waves of sexual delight. The woman should urinate before intercourse begins, so she can be more confident that the feeling that she has to urinate is a misleading feeling and can be safely ignored.
For most women it is difficult to reach a climax through intercourse alone. This is because the sensitive clitoris isn't easily stimulated just by thrusting motions; the g-spot is difficult to reach with even a fully erect penis; and because often the male partner goes over the edge into ejaculatory orgasm before the woman has had enough action to bring her to the heights. If you touch her clitoris before and during intercourse, and if you've pleasured her vaginally by touching the g-spot with your fingers, the chances are much better that she will have a deep vaginal orgasm while your penis is inside her.
Learn the strokes that turn her on. Tell her how fabulous it is that she's sensual and sexual. Let her know you adore her body and love to touch and kiss it for hours. Help her forget about trying to make orgasm happen and focus instead on thoroughly enjoying every moment of lovemaking. If you awaken your multi-orgasmic woman you are going to like it!
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Personal appearance has increasing become of the utmost importance to everyone, be it man or woman, since the fashion revolution of the swinging sixties.
Previous to the sixties men and women pretty much grew up looking and dressing like their parents, however in the sixties the need for new fashion and individual appearance was born with a vengeance.
With newspapers, television and the media in general constantly bombarding us with how we should look and feel its no wonder that we all have strong ideas on how we should try to change our own appearance to fit in with what is perceived as the “norm”.
You may feel as a woman that you need to improve your overall appearance and that your figure in general would greatly be improved by increasing the size of your breasts to get a far fuller and curvaceous appeal.
Although cosmetic surgery is increasingly becoming more within everybody’s financial range, sometimes the thought of going through such painful procedures prompts individuals to look for alternative and comparatively easier methods to achieve their perfect shape.
Breast enhancement pills could be considered to be such a great alternative to cosmetic surgery and many companies now offer breast enhancement pills that are produced from herbal ingredients, such as plants and plant extracts.
Some of the herbal ingredients used in breast enhancement pills include Fennel Seed, Dong Quai Root, Blessed Thistle Herb, Dandelion Root, Watercress Leaf, Kelp and Vitamin E.
Also available for breast enlargement and enhancement are breast enhancement creams, which are generally made up of various acids and herbs. Which ever way you decide to proceed with your breast enhancement it is always a wise procedure to do some homework and see what products are available and always look for testimonials and reports from others who have tried these products.
Remember also so that it is wise to consult your doctor with any medical matters.
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Ladies, if you find yourself asking your male companion that killer trick question "do I look fat", then let’s be honest, you are doing so for one of four reasons: you are fat, you are feeling fat, you are vain, or you are in need of attention. And if you haven’t figured it out already, you should know that any man worth his salt has learned one thing: to answer certain female trick questions immediately, firmly, and with a clear, riveted gaze. It is all about the rudimentary, involuntary-reflex response, "No. You look perfect!" It is not an answer, but simply a male maneuver to buy another minute until one can figure out for which reason the question was asked in the first place.
And most men, even the most boorish, know the various permutations of the trick question too.
For instance, the indirect method:
"Do these jeans look too tight?"
"No. They fit perfect." Or the slick double-secret-probation approach:
"Do you still love me, even though I’ve gained weight?"
"Yes I do. And you look perfect." Or the subtle non-question question:
"I think I need to go on a diet."
"No you don’t. You look perfect."
There can be no hesitation, no darting eyes, no mincing of words when the response is given. If one does, one deserves to become the sorry sack of shittolla one is about to become. My theory is that men whose fathers or mothers did not prepare them falter exactly once. Depending on the female partner, the offender is either killed (the lightest sentence), or treated to a year of hard time, at the conclusion of which the guilty party either has learned all the correct rudimentary involuntary-reflex responses or has joined the gay ranks or has become a monk vowed to a life of silence.
Well no matter how one gets there, for guys in the know, the rudimentary involuntary-responses are the easy part, after all they are as routine as lifting up the toilet seat—another gem that was hopefully hammered into us in our formative years. The hard part is trying to figure out the real reason for the question and choosing what the appropriate follow-up response is.
To enlighten those males who have not advanced to this stage, let me help you, let me show you the logic, let me give you hope. Let’s walk through this together. There’ll be fanny pats at the end if you get it.
So the trick question is asked. We immediately regurgitate the appropriate robotic response. We have about a minute to figure out her reason for asking and if a follow-up is required. That moment of male mental gymnastics is more tension packed than the last episode of 24.
As daunting as it might seem, it’s not so bad if we break it down like any other business problem.
1. She actually is fat. Beware! She ISN’T interested in your confirmation. She probably just got a glimpse of herself in a mirror, is feeling really lousy about, but uninterested in doing anything about. If she were interested in doing something about it, trust me she wouldn’t be asking you for an opinion! Unless you want a situation, it’s best to leave this one alone and say nothing in follow-up. And just in the event that you are toying with the idea of saying something that even slightly acknowledges her extra pounds, take an honest look at yourself first. There is a good chance you aren’t winning any Mr. Olympia trophies soon. So grab a bag of cheese doodles and take your lard-ass to the couch, lest you say something you will regret.
2. She feels fat. This is a ticklish one at first but in the end is as simple as number 1 above. She may feel fat because she is fat in which case she may be coming to grips with her fatness. That might be a good thing. Let her be; say nothing after the usual required response. The other possibility is that she might just plain feel some of that there bloating issue women get around that pre-you-not-what-but-I’m-not-allowed-to-say-because-it’s-sexist-but-really-not-because-it’s-true time. If this is the case, a poorly timed darting glance down at her belly could be suicidal. Don’t do it no matter how temptingt! Even if she lifts her belly-shirt and points. Don’t look! Stay focused and reaffirm the rudimentary involuntary-reflex response by changing it up a bit, "Get outta here: "am I fat"! You look perfect! If anyone’s fat it’s me!" Then volunteer to fold her underwear. Do something. Get out of there lickitty split.
3. She is vain. This is a tough one for me personally. If she is thin as rail and is just vacuuming for loose compliments, I have a tendency to want to give her something to think about; really feed into her low self esteem that seems so willfully misplaced. Again, it’s best to fight the urge, shut your hole and be glad it’s not a real issue. There are two corollaries to this though.
If this trick question stuff is a recent development, one may want to nip it in the bud before one ends up with someone who is vain all the time—not a very good thing. The standard knee-jerk response may be rewarding bad behavior subconsciously. After your minute of thinking is up, you might want to follow-up with the direct approach, "You know, I sense a little vanity there. Are you becoming a little vain? Feeling pretty good about yourself aren’t you?" Give her a chance to react. She probably will flash a little devilish grin, the type that acknowledges she has been caught. You then close with, "Nothing wrong with feeling good about yourself and occasionally fishing for a compliment. And sweetie, I’d compliment you all day long, if I didn’t think that it would eventually swell that pretty head of yours up so big that it starts to clunk off the walls and furniture and stuff; breaking the family crystal and all. That would be terrible." Ah, the beauty of a little disarming humor.
In the other scenario, if you find yourself on the down-side of the relationship with the self-absorbed twit and looking to speed up the inevitable, you might say casually, "Yeah, I’ve noticed those little bulges in your lower back. But they’re not so bad. No one’s perfect anyway." Then see if you can walk out of the room without a ring bouncing off your balding skull. The beauty of this retort is that she can’t see what you playfully pointed out—short of setting up a room full of mirrors anyway. It’s effective, satisfying and guaranteed the desired results. Plus you’ll be able to hock the ring she threw at you for some cold poker cash.
4. She needs attention. This is the most prickly reason she might be asking and not easily recognized by "X & Y" humans. Chances are she isn’t overweight. Chances are you might deduce falsely "she feels fat" because it’s that time of you-know-what-because-I-can’t-say-month. Before you settle on that or any other conclusion for that matter, take a few seconds more. Could it be that she just wants to know she is attractive to you because you have been so self absorbed with work or football or your thinning hair that you haven’t in the past year at least once looked her in the eye and told her she is the most beautiful person in your world? If she has to demean herself this way to check in on your attention, the fat she is referring to is from the heavy tumor you have become on her self esteem. And if you have even the slightest pang that this might be true, that she may need attention, you better drop whatever lame thing it is that you are doing, praise her up and down and make a mental note not to allow her to sink to this lowly place again. She may ask only once or twice more before she decides you are malignant and opts for immediate, radical surgery to remove the cancerous growth you’ve become.
By the way, women don’t have a lock on trick questions. Men do the same thing, just about male stuff. For instance, a man might mumble within earshot after coming out of the shower, "I wish my penis were bigger." It may not be in the form of a question but this isn’t Jeopardy either. It sure as hell is a cry for a little simpleminded ego building. Something like, "honey, you could jack up an eighteen wheeler with that thing" would go a long way. I suppose lesbian and gay couples eventually dive down (so to speak) into the same sad depths with equally problematic maneuvers.
The truth is I really don’t know what the answer is to avoid the certainty of these trick questions. Honesty in communication feels right and is even noteworthy but it’s not always effective.
"Am I fat?"
"Honey, you get any fatter and we’ll have to pay resident taxes to two states!"
or
"I wish my penis were bigger."
"You and me both! It’s like reading Braille with my vagina."
I suppose a simple "yes you are" or nod of agreement would be a better way to be honest without the immediate blood shed; the key word being "immediate." But eventually honesty will require your blood to flow.
So what is it we can do differently from scripting our escape? I guess nothing. Maybe it is just a condition of human relationships. I just can’t help but think though there is a better way. In the meantime, I’ll continue to brush up responses to new and improved trick questions. There is no time to relaxing, letting our guard down.
"Is my butt sagging?"
"Sagging? Are you kidding me? You could crack walnuts with that thing."
Not bad!
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A couple with no specific physical abnormalities, that do everything right to conceive for a reasonable length of time without a positive result, can be considered to have a fertility problem.
Many couples affected by infertility spend months or years of treatment for fertility problems without a positive outcome.
Natural herbal remedies have come a long way since their ancient origins, and are making new strides every day, with remedies to increase fertility and enhance functioning of the male and female reproductive systems.
Herbal remedies use botanicals (plants) either singularly or in compounds, and sometimes animal by-products to prevent and correct targeted conditions.
Many new natural herbal products have been compounded to remedy infertility for example for:
Females to:
*Promote regular ovulation
*Correct hormone imbalances
*Regulate menstrual cycles
*Increase libido
Males to:
*Improve the functioning of the (prostate, seminal vesicles, testes, and penis)
*Increase, testosterone levels, sperm production and, motility
*Enhance sex drive, and strengthen erections
Stress, poor nutrition, bad habits such as smoking, over use of alcohol, and drug abuse, emotional and psychological problems, a number of prescription medicines, can all adversely affect fertility, and may require some lifestyle changes.
Natural remedies optimize reproductive health without adding to the risks of multiple births, and many other problems of other approaches to overcoming infertility problems.
A natural herbal remedy could be the answer to your problem.
The FDA does not regulate the manufacturing of herbs, common sense and a little research can help assure that you are buying a quality product. Check the name of the manufacturer or distributor, and the facts label for, amount, daily usage values, and active ingredients.
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There’s no doubting that a vasectomy is one of the most effective methods of birth control available. However, because its effects can be permanent, you and your partner really need to consider whether you are ready to take this step and ask yourselves if you are sure that children aren’t going to be a part of your relationship at any point. It’s true that vasectomy reversals can and are performed regularly these days; but they are expensive and there’s no guarantee that the patient will ever regain his fertility.
Despite the success rate of the vasectomy, it is not impossible that you could still end up fathering a child. Firstly, your surgeon should make you aware of the fact that you are still able to father children after undergoing your vasectomy for a few months. Throughout this period, your doctor will continue to examine you to see if you still continue to have viable sperm. You will have to continue to use an alternative form of birth control during this time.
The other scenario is if the vasa deferentia actually grows back and makes it possible for your sperm to reach your penis once again. This is known to happen, though it is very rare. The likelihood of it occurring is believed to be something around 1 in a 1000.
Whilst a vasectomy is an effective method of birth control, it’s important that you realize that it can’t and won’t protect you from any sexually transmitted diseases. If you want some protection from sexually transmitted diseases then you will still have to use a condom. However, if you and your partner enjoy a monogamous relationship, then you and your partner can begin to enjoy unprotected sex without having to worry about pregnancy.
A vasectomy isn’t for everyone and is certainly a big step. But as long as you and your partner are sure that children aren’t to play a part in your future together or if pregnancy is dangerous for your partner because of a medical condition then a vasectomy could be the perfect solution for you and your partner.
